CHAPTER SUMMARY: Edward and Jacob have a long talk about Bella. Everything's decided for her yet again. I'm super bored.
NOTES/THOUGHTS/REACTIONS:
So in Meyer's effort to leave no cliche unturned in this series, Bella, Edward, and Jacob get stuck in a freezing storm as they leave a trail. So the three of them find shelter. Bella is naturally the freezing helpless female and the two guys are fine due to their natures.
The two guys argue until Jacob decides to share body heat. Edward doesn't like this naturally and argues against it, even STOPPING Jacob from doing it. You love this girl, right Edward? If you love her as much as you keep saying, then GET OVER YOURSELF and let the person who can help help her out. Edward does let him (so nice) and then he and Jacob still argue back and forth as she's in between them. Good lord. Were I Bella, I'd be telling them both to get over themselves by now but this naturally never crosses her mind. More pointless chatter about why Jacob's hair is longer when he's a wolf (one, this is pretty obvious, two-WHY DO WE CARE?). If this pointlessness isn't bad enough, Jacob is evidently having fantasies while Bella is shivering from the freezing cold. Wow, Meyer. You just have to make him into the world's biggest douche don't you? I get you're Team Edward but must you destroy the one character in this series that I actually can tolerate?
Basically the two argue about this and then it gets drawn into a conversation about Bella, WHILE SHE'S THERE. Honestly, they have this big heartfelt conversation about their feelings for this girl right in front of her, neither asking for her input. Just...what? Even stupider is the conversation doesn't really go anywhere. They don't suddenly become best buds. There's no major revelation. Nothing. SO WHY DO WE EVEN HAVE THIS CHAPTER? Stupid chapter ends with them falling asleep.
WORD LIST:none
GENERAL ANNOYANCES: I shivered so hard it was a convulsion.-One, it was a convulsion is an unneeded add on. Two, it should be I shivered so hard, it was a convulsion.
Friday, June 25, 2010
ECLIPSE: Chapter 21-Trails
CHAPTER SUMMARY: Bella meets up with the wolves and there's mindless chatter as Meyer insists on dragging this book on and on and ON.
NOTES/THOUGHTS/REACTIONS:
We open to Bella waking up. We get her thinking about her actions in the previous chapter (snore) and then we get Alice acting weird. We get yet more sexist junk, brought to you by Bella Swan:
Not only is it sexist on the men and women's side, it's stereotyping/generalizing as well. Thank you Bella.
Goodbyes are said and she talks to Alice who begs her to throw a wedding party just so Alice can plan/decorate/throw it for her. More gender stereotyping. Yay. Some junk about her giving the ring back (why? She's marrying him, right? What the heck?) and then they meet up with Jacob to lay the trail. Lots of pointless, mindless chatter goes on.
Edward and Jacob talk like Bella is not there or has thoughts of her own yet again. Then we get more pointless chatter with Jacob. He makes a good point about Bella not really knowing anything else besides Edward therefore how does she know he's what she wants but of course, as it's coming from a jealous rival the good point is ignorable in Bella's view. Sigh.
More pity poor Bella scenes as she worries about others in what is Meyer's obvious attempt at making her Mary Sue look selfless and good. She starts talking with Jacob and now he becomes a Gary Stu because due to some weirdness he apparently can actually take over the pack. But of course, he doesn't want to so he lets Sam lead. I'm not sure why this information is relevent at all but something tells me that somewhere down the line Jacob takes over the pack. The two meet up with Edward again and boring pointless chapter ends.
WORD LIST: scuttling, unscrupulous
GENERAL ANNOYANCES: The sun was bright outside the window wall when I woke, with small clouds scuttling too quickly across the sky.-First, clouds can't scuttle. Scuttling implies there's feet and movement involved and hurried actions and that there's SOUND INVOLVED. Clouds don't do this. Second, why are we even getting this minor detail? Third, how to clouds move TOO QUICKLY? This whole sentence makes absolutely no sense and is pointless as well. Just say it was a cloudy day and move on.
Why is she dragging this on like this? JUST GET ON WITH IT.
NOTES/THOUGHTS/REACTIONS:
We open to Bella waking up. We get her thinking about her actions in the previous chapter (snore) and then we get Alice acting weird. We get yet more sexist junk, brought to you by Bella Swan:
The urge to fight must be a defining characteristic of the Y chromosome. They were all the same.
From Eclipse, Chapter 21
Not only is it sexist on the men and women's side, it's stereotyping/generalizing as well. Thank you Bella.
Goodbyes are said and she talks to Alice who begs her to throw a wedding party just so Alice can plan/decorate/throw it for her. More gender stereotyping. Yay. Some junk about her giving the ring back (why? She's marrying him, right? What the heck?) and then they meet up with Jacob to lay the trail. Lots of pointless, mindless chatter goes on.
Edward and Jacob talk like Bella is not there or has thoughts of her own yet again. Then we get more pointless chatter with Jacob. He makes a good point about Bella not really knowing anything else besides Edward therefore how does she know he's what she wants but of course, as it's coming from a jealous rival the good point is ignorable in Bella's view. Sigh.
More pity poor Bella scenes as she worries about others in what is Meyer's obvious attempt at making her Mary Sue look selfless and good. She starts talking with Jacob and now he becomes a Gary Stu because due to some weirdness he apparently can actually take over the pack. But of course, he doesn't want to so he lets Sam lead. I'm not sure why this information is relevent at all but something tells me that somewhere down the line Jacob takes over the pack. The two meet up with Edward again and boring pointless chapter ends.
WORD LIST: scuttling, unscrupulous
GENERAL ANNOYANCES: The sun was bright outside the window wall when I woke, with small clouds scuttling too quickly across the sky.-First, clouds can't scuttle. Scuttling implies there's feet and movement involved and hurried actions and that there's SOUND INVOLVED. Clouds don't do this. Second, why are we even getting this minor detail? Third, how to clouds move TOO QUICKLY? This whole sentence makes absolutely no sense and is pointless as well. Just say it was a cloudy day and move on.
Why is she dragging this on like this? JUST GET ON WITH IT.
Thursday, June 24, 2010
ECLIPSE: Chapter 20-Compromise
CHAPTER SUMMARY: Bella and Edward cuddle, Bella accepts Edward's marriage proposal and we get the same damn conversation over and over again.
NOTES/THOUGHTS/REACTIONS:
We open to Bella talking plans. Right from the get go it's obvious this is going to be a heavy Bella and Edward chapter. Great. Missed those. NOT. Also, excuse me but I have to laugh at this:
Now for some couples, this may be sweet and romantic. But here's the thing. With Bella and Edward: IT'S ALWAYS ABOUT THEM. I'm serious. Bella is constantly thinking of Edward and how she is with him, his thoughts on them, how they can be together blah, blah, blah. Essentially this whole battle is about them to begin with so they can be together in peace. Edward is likewise the same way about Bella. So I'm sorry, when is it NOT about them?
Then we get to the obvious: Bella is ready to marry Edward. Please note there has been next to NO wrestling on the matter of whether she should be with Edward period even though all the Twihards like to say this is the book where she does consider other possibilities. She doesn't. Yeah, she wrestles with the marriage idea but she never once considers other options (Jacob was never even in the running, I don't know why Team Jacob fans ever thought otherwise, although I do commend their taste) besides Edward. She made up her mind already: Edward was it. There was seriously NO NEED FOR THIS BOOK WHATSOEVER. Meyer could have just had Bella say yes at the end of New Moon, then move right into Breaking Dawn by having Victoria try to take the baby or something as her revenge. But as she is trying to milk this cash cow for all it's worth, there are for overly long books instead of the short three books this series SHOULD be.
Most of the beginning of this is Bella rambling on and on about stuff we ALREADY KNOW AGAIN. There's romantic kissing (in Meyer's view, I still say the "love scenes" in this book leave much to be desired but that's probably because I despise the characters and the writing) and then Edward gives Bella a present (she acts like this is a huge burden of course).
Turns out to be a glass heart charm. Cute and saccherine like this whole series. Then Bella and Edward start negotiating on the marriage thing. No. I'm serious. They have strings for their own marriage. Um...what happened to "I love you, I want to be with you, lets get married?" Correct me if I'm wrong but marriage is not supposed to be negotiated like this unless it's like a royal marriage or something or a business marriage but those are different. actual romantic marriages shouldn't have the couple NEGOTIATING things like it's a contract. I'm sorry, Meyer expects me to believe this is ROMANTIC?
If that's not bad enough, it turns into yet ANOTHER "I want to have sex! No you don't you silly girl!" conversation. GOD. GET NEW SCENES MEYER! Seriously! Please, move on to the battle so I don't have to endure this condescending sexist/conservative viewpoint YET AGAIN. I get it: sex before marriage is evil and bad and you'll go to hell or whatever. MOVE ON WITH THE STORY.
But of course, the whole thing is made out to be Bella just being a silly female and they move on. But it moves on to yet another "I'm super dangerous" scene. Really, does Meyer have no new scenes at all? She is really, that tapped out on this series? I've read fanfiction that's more original then this crap and less repetitive. Some of that, was TWILIGHT fanfiction. It's bad when the fanfiction from the fandom is better then the PUBLISHED ORIGINAL WORK.
Bella of course, ends up caving to Edward's demands. She'll marry him, let him pay for Dartmouth (of which he probably bribed to get her into in the first place), and buy her a car. Edward accepts and like that, they're married. Joy. Then Bella again wonders what people will think and again I don't know why she cares, she's never cared about these people when she wasn't getting married. They decide to marry in the summer and he gives her an engagement ring that sounds more like a cocktail ring:
I'm sorry but that doesn't sound pretty at all, that sounds...tacky. But I guess it's a matter of personal taste. If you want to see a picture of said ring, go to google and look up Twilight engagement ring. Boring chapter ends with declarations of love (again, we've had this scene).
WORD LIST: velocity, fetters, dissension
GENERAL ANNOYANCES: Recycled scenes again.The ring is UGLY.The band was gold-delicate and narrow. Would have been better to say "The band was a narrow and delicate ring of gold."
NOTES/THOUGHTS/REACTIONS:
We open to Bella talking plans. Right from the get go it's obvious this is going to be a heavy Bella and Edward chapter. Great. Missed those. NOT. Also, excuse me but I have to laugh at this:
"For just this one night, could we try to forget everything besides just you and me?"
From Eclipse, Chapter 20
Now for some couples, this may be sweet and romantic. But here's the thing. With Bella and Edward: IT'S ALWAYS ABOUT THEM. I'm serious. Bella is constantly thinking of Edward and how she is with him, his thoughts on them, how they can be together blah, blah, blah. Essentially this whole battle is about them to begin with so they can be together in peace. Edward is likewise the same way about Bella. So I'm sorry, when is it NOT about them?
Then we get to the obvious: Bella is ready to marry Edward. Please note there has been next to NO wrestling on the matter of whether she should be with Edward period even though all the Twihards like to say this is the book where she does consider other possibilities. She doesn't. Yeah, she wrestles with the marriage idea but she never once considers other options (Jacob was never even in the running, I don't know why Team Jacob fans ever thought otherwise, although I do commend their taste) besides Edward. She made up her mind already: Edward was it. There was seriously NO NEED FOR THIS BOOK WHATSOEVER. Meyer could have just had Bella say yes at the end of New Moon, then move right into Breaking Dawn by having Victoria try to take the baby or something as her revenge. But as she is trying to milk this cash cow for all it's worth, there are for overly long books instead of the short three books this series SHOULD be.
Most of the beginning of this is Bella rambling on and on about stuff we ALREADY KNOW AGAIN. There's romantic kissing (in Meyer's view, I still say the "love scenes" in this book leave much to be desired but that's probably because I despise the characters and the writing) and then Edward gives Bella a present (she acts like this is a huge burden of course).
Turns out to be a glass heart charm. Cute and saccherine like this whole series. Then Bella and Edward start negotiating on the marriage thing. No. I'm serious. They have strings for their own marriage. Um...what happened to "I love you, I want to be with you, lets get married?" Correct me if I'm wrong but marriage is not supposed to be negotiated like this unless it's like a royal marriage or something or a business marriage but those are different. actual romantic marriages shouldn't have the couple NEGOTIATING things like it's a contract. I'm sorry, Meyer expects me to believe this is ROMANTIC?
If that's not bad enough, it turns into yet ANOTHER "I want to have sex! No you don't you silly girl!" conversation. GOD. GET NEW SCENES MEYER! Seriously! Please, move on to the battle so I don't have to endure this condescending sexist/conservative viewpoint YET AGAIN. I get it: sex before marriage is evil and bad and you'll go to hell or whatever. MOVE ON WITH THE STORY.
But of course, the whole thing is made out to be Bella just being a silly female and they move on. But it moves on to yet another "I'm super dangerous" scene. Really, does Meyer have no new scenes at all? She is really, that tapped out on this series? I've read fanfiction that's more original then this crap and less repetitive. Some of that, was TWILIGHT fanfiction. It's bad when the fanfiction from the fandom is better then the PUBLISHED ORIGINAL WORK.
Bella of course, ends up caving to Edward's demands. She'll marry him, let him pay for Dartmouth (of which he probably bribed to get her into in the first place), and buy her a car. Edward accepts and like that, they're married. Joy. Then Bella again wonders what people will think and again I don't know why she cares, she's never cared about these people when she wasn't getting married. They decide to marry in the summer and he gives her an engagement ring that sounds more like a cocktail ring:
Nestled in the black satin, Elizabeth Masen's ring sparkled in the dim light. The face was a long oval, set with slanting rows of glittering round stones. The band was gold-delicate and narrow. The gold made a fragile web around the diamonds.
From Eclipse, Chapter 20
I'm sorry but that doesn't sound pretty at all, that sounds...tacky. But I guess it's a matter of personal taste. If you want to see a picture of said ring, go to google and look up Twilight engagement ring. Boring chapter ends with declarations of love (again, we've had this scene).
WORD LIST: velocity, fetters, dissension
GENERAL ANNOYANCES: Recycled scenes again.The ring is UGLY.The band was gold-delicate and narrow. Would have been better to say "The band was a narrow and delicate ring of gold."
ECLIPSE: Chapter 19-Selfish
CHAPTER SUMMARY: Excitement is died down yet again as Meyer takes forever to get to the battle. Drama with the pack is discussed, Bella stands up for herself and feels guilty about it. The end.
NOTES/THOUGHTS/REACTIONS:
If you, like me, were hoping that a chapter titled selfish meant Bella was going to wake up and realize she was being selfish, that Edward was a selfish guy, that pretty much everyone in this whole series is selfish...you and I are sadly mistaken. Why? Lets get right into it.
We open with Bella waking up and a awkward conversation with Edward. See, he's upset that Bella lets Jacob and others give her presents but not him. Because you know, that's such a HUGE deal. But this doesn't make Bella wake up and think he's selfish (which he is) and not where Meyer gets it from (even though she should). Nope.
The conversation then turns to Bella and Edward discussing the pack and their drama. There are several things that bother me about this conversation but I'll start with numero uno: WHY ARE THEY DISCUSSING MATTERS THAT AREN'T THEIR BUSINESS? Something tells me, the pack would be less then happy that Edward is divulging all their secrets to Bella or even discussing them in the first place! They are not a part of the wolf pack, they have no reason to sit there and judge what is going on in the first place. But they do because this is Bella and Edward. They need to pass judgement on everyone you know?
I'll move on to the drama part of it. Turns out Leah Clearwater has somehow become a werewolf (once more, Meyer debunks her own cannon just for the sake of having something in there). Before all you feminists go yay about this, please know, her being a werewolf is treated as a HUGE burden by the pack. See, because she has the nerve to have feelings and such and is still hurt by Sam leaving her, that is throwing the pack off. They of course feel she's doing it deliberatly. So once again, a female who tries and breaks out of the female gender mold is made out to be a harpy.
Also some drama going about that Embry is born out of wedlock. It's all very horrible for him, because now it's apparently obvious (to these guys anyway, I don't see how it's obvious for anyone else) that because he's a werewolf, it means that whoever his mother slept with was married at the time and he's a half brother to one of the pack. The father of course, is not going to step forward and why should he? It's clearly the woman's fault. Sorry, but that's probably what Meyer is going to make it out to be.
But this isn't the selfish part either. No. The selfish part is when Bella decides she's going to go with Jasper's (actually pretty solid) plan of leading a fake trail and use herself as bait (gee, where have I seen this before? Oh yeah, THE FIRST TWO BOOKS. Get new ideas Meyer). Some of you may be confused as to why this is selfish. So am I but Bella explains. It's selfish because it means she's going against Edward's wishes of keeping her from harm....God I hate this series. Every time a woman (Bella usually) stands up for herself or shows some sort of independance. She is called selfish, or she's made out to be a harpy, or is made out to be some silly creature who doesn't know what she's saying. When her plans do work out, she generally ends up giving the males the credit. Just...UGH.
So then Alice shows up and there's unneeded filler with her and Bella convincing Charlie to let her stay with the Cullens. He caves of course. They arrive at the Cullens and they are training. Jacob shows up and it's all very civil. More Bella worrying and then the boring pointless chapter ends.
WORD LIST: none
GENERAL ANNOYANCES: more sexism
I swallowed noisily.-Just say she swallowed. Noisily is a pointless add on.
NOTES/THOUGHTS/REACTIONS:
If you, like me, were hoping that a chapter titled selfish meant Bella was going to wake up and realize she was being selfish, that Edward was a selfish guy, that pretty much everyone in this whole series is selfish...you and I are sadly mistaken. Why? Lets get right into it.
We open with Bella waking up and a awkward conversation with Edward. See, he's upset that Bella lets Jacob and others give her presents but not him. Because you know, that's such a HUGE deal. But this doesn't make Bella wake up and think he's selfish (which he is) and not where Meyer gets it from (even though she should). Nope.
The conversation then turns to Bella and Edward discussing the pack and their drama. There are several things that bother me about this conversation but I'll start with numero uno: WHY ARE THEY DISCUSSING MATTERS THAT AREN'T THEIR BUSINESS? Something tells me, the pack would be less then happy that Edward is divulging all their secrets to Bella or even discussing them in the first place! They are not a part of the wolf pack, they have no reason to sit there and judge what is going on in the first place. But they do because this is Bella and Edward. They need to pass judgement on everyone you know?
I'll move on to the drama part of it. Turns out Leah Clearwater has somehow become a werewolf (once more, Meyer debunks her own cannon just for the sake of having something in there). Before all you feminists go yay about this, please know, her being a werewolf is treated as a HUGE burden by the pack. See, because she has the nerve to have feelings and such and is still hurt by Sam leaving her, that is throwing the pack off. They of course feel she's doing it deliberatly. So once again, a female who tries and breaks out of the female gender mold is made out to be a harpy.
Also some drama going about that Embry is born out of wedlock. It's all very horrible for him, because now it's apparently obvious (to these guys anyway, I don't see how it's obvious for anyone else) that because he's a werewolf, it means that whoever his mother slept with was married at the time and he's a half brother to one of the pack. The father of course, is not going to step forward and why should he? It's clearly the woman's fault. Sorry, but that's probably what Meyer is going to make it out to be.
But this isn't the selfish part either. No. The selfish part is when Bella decides she's going to go with Jasper's (actually pretty solid) plan of leading a fake trail and use herself as bait (gee, where have I seen this before? Oh yeah, THE FIRST TWO BOOKS. Get new ideas Meyer). Some of you may be confused as to why this is selfish. So am I but Bella explains. It's selfish because it means she's going against Edward's wishes of keeping her from harm....God I hate this series. Every time a woman (Bella usually) stands up for herself or shows some sort of independance. She is called selfish, or she's made out to be a harpy, or is made out to be some silly creature who doesn't know what she's saying. When her plans do work out, she generally ends up giving the males the credit. Just...UGH.
So then Alice shows up and there's unneeded filler with her and Bella convincing Charlie to let her stay with the Cullens. He caves of course. They arrive at the Cullens and they are training. Jacob shows up and it's all very civil. More Bella worrying and then the boring pointless chapter ends.
WORD LIST: none
GENERAL ANNOYANCES: more sexism
I swallowed noisily.-Just say she swallowed. Noisily is a pointless add on.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
ECLIPSE: Chapter 18-Instruction
To those wondering about all the updating today, this is the last chapter today. There will be more tomorrow. I'm trying to have this all done by the 30th of this month as I'm going on vacation that day for a week and it seems appropriate since the Eclipse movie also comes out that day (on a much happier note, The Last Airbender comes out the next day ;squee;). So expect lots of updating over the next few days.
CHAPTER SUMMARY: Werewolves and vampires learn how to kill newborns. Bella is horrified by it all. That is all.
NOTES/THOUGHTS/REACTIONS:
We open with Bella going home and still horrified about the fighting thing and all the Cullens reassuring her it'll be fine. She and Edward meet in her room and one minute she Edward are falling asleep and then they start yammering away. All the talk reveals something we already know: Victoria didn't steal Bella's shirt. Um...duh? Really, how slow does Meyer think we are? Also, WHO CARES WHO STOLE IT? The point is it's gone and there's an army. How about we focus on the ARMY instead? That's kind of more important?
Bad transition and we're to the part where they're meeting up with the werewolves. We learn that the pack is now ten people. Then it's basically the Cullens showing the wolves how to kill newborns. It's kind of interesting, yet kind of boring at the same time. I mean, it's apparently pretty easy to kill them, so...why can't we just move on with the big battle? Really, does Meyer need to drag this on like she's doing? The answer? No, not really. But she will because she's Meyer.
There's kind of a cute moment with Alice and Jasper fighting (really, these two are way more adorable then Edward and Bella, even if their romance is yet again "love at first sight") Then it basically amounts to the Cullens squaring off for...some reason. I kind of feel like it's showing off mostly, but that's probably just me.
Then the pack goes forward and sniffs all the Cullens to get their scent so they don't make a mistake in battle and kill one of them. Okay. So it's mostly them sniffing the Cullens. Kind of funny and kind of weird at the same time...
They go to leave and Jacob returns in human form (I see excuse for the movie script writer to have Taylor Laughtner half-naked again...not that I disapprove of this mind you, that was about the only way I got THROUGH the boriness that was New Moon) and we once again get another "my dick is bigger than yours" moment with Bella being horrified by something after Charlie. Really, Meyer GET NEW SCENES. Old recycled scenes are GETTING ANNOYING.
Edward and Jacob once more argue back and forth about what to do with Bella (who once more lets them and doesn't say anything, again NOT EQUALS) and there's talk about leaving a false trail or something. I also want to note: a CELL PHONE is mentioned! So they DO exist in this world! Then why don't people, you know, USE THEM?
Chapter ends with planning over with. Ten chapters to go! Yay!
WORD LIST: boisterously, brace (doesn't look right where it's used)
GENERAL ANNOYANCES: My eyes looked down the wary brace of wolves.-This...just doesn't look right, I'm sorry. It's a weird way to say line of wolves. An editor would have caught that and fixed it but we know Meyer is above an editor...
CHAPTER SUMMARY: Werewolves and vampires learn how to kill newborns. Bella is horrified by it all. That is all.
NOTES/THOUGHTS/REACTIONS:
We open with Bella going home and still horrified about the fighting thing and all the Cullens reassuring her it'll be fine. She and Edward meet in her room and one minute she Edward are falling asleep and then they start yammering away. All the talk reveals something we already know: Victoria didn't steal Bella's shirt. Um...duh? Really, how slow does Meyer think we are? Also, WHO CARES WHO STOLE IT? The point is it's gone and there's an army. How about we focus on the ARMY instead? That's kind of more important?
Bad transition and we're to the part where they're meeting up with the werewolves. We learn that the pack is now ten people. Then it's basically the Cullens showing the wolves how to kill newborns. It's kind of interesting, yet kind of boring at the same time. I mean, it's apparently pretty easy to kill them, so...why can't we just move on with the big battle? Really, does Meyer need to drag this on like she's doing? The answer? No, not really. But she will because she's Meyer.
There's kind of a cute moment with Alice and Jasper fighting (really, these two are way more adorable then Edward and Bella, even if their romance is yet again "love at first sight") Then it basically amounts to the Cullens squaring off for...some reason. I kind of feel like it's showing off mostly, but that's probably just me.
Then the pack goes forward and sniffs all the Cullens to get their scent so they don't make a mistake in battle and kill one of them. Okay. So it's mostly them sniffing the Cullens. Kind of funny and kind of weird at the same time...
They go to leave and Jacob returns in human form (I see excuse for the movie script writer to have Taylor Laughtner half-naked again...not that I disapprove of this mind you, that was about the only way I got THROUGH the boriness that was New Moon) and we once again get another "my dick is bigger than yours" moment with Bella being horrified by something after Charlie. Really, Meyer GET NEW SCENES. Old recycled scenes are GETTING ANNOYING.
Edward and Jacob once more argue back and forth about what to do with Bella (who once more lets them and doesn't say anything, again NOT EQUALS) and there's talk about leaving a false trail or something. I also want to note: a CELL PHONE is mentioned! So they DO exist in this world! Then why don't people, you know, USE THEM?
Chapter ends with planning over with. Ten chapters to go! Yay!
WORD LIST: boisterously, brace (doesn't look right where it's used)
GENERAL ANNOYANCES: My eyes looked down the wary brace of wolves.-This...just doesn't look right, I'm sorry. It's a weird way to say line of wolves. An editor would have caught that and fixed it but we know Meyer is above an editor...
ECLIPSE: Chapter 17-Alliance
CHAPTER SUMMARY: The werewolves and vampires agree to work together.
NOTES/THOUGHTS/REACTIONS:
We open where we left off with Bella going to her party. Big smooch with Edward and they go to the party which is of course huge and fabulous as Alice was in charge (a little note: sequined top and red leather pants were totally stolen from Buffy's wardrobe in season three). There's a little talk of army vampire worry and then the party starts.
All minor characters from school (you know, the friends Bella treated like crap all those years) somehow show up even though I thought she was currently only friends with Angela and Ben. Also I'm sorry, we suddenly are told about this guy named Lee. Who is Lee? For that matter, who is Conner and Samantha? She acts like I'm supposed to know who these random names are but I don't because they are never mentioned in the first place. To her surprise (and mine because I don't get the impression from her description) Bella is enjoying herself. Then the kicker: Jacob shows up.
Quil and Embry are there as well. We have a lame apology scene and then Jacob gives her a bracelet he made himself (another indian stereotype I might add. You know, they ALL know how to carve...;rolls eyes;). This endears him more of course and now they're okay all of a sudden (except for the constant double standard Bella holds him too, but I figure that's a given). Then Jacob knows something is up and they ask Bella what's going on.
She explains about the newborn army. For some reason there's great shock as Bella realizes they're coming to Forks. Um...yeah? They're after YOU aren't they? Where are you? In Forks. Really, how stupid is this girl? So the werewolves offer their help. The vampires agree. For some reason this upsets Bella. Even though, last I checked, this is what she wanted. Whatever. Chapter ends with her being horrified that everyone's gearing up for battle. Sigh.
WORD LIST: none
GENERAL ANNOYANCES: All at once, everything was surreally normal.- Really? Surreal implies an odd experience. Normal implies...normality. So...it's both? What? This makes no sense. Unless of course, Meyer is once more trying to drill in our heads that Bella is not normal. In which case, we get it already.
More weak female stereotyping as Bella is horrified at the thought of coming battles.
NOTES/THOUGHTS/REACTIONS:
We open where we left off with Bella going to her party. Big smooch with Edward and they go to the party which is of course huge and fabulous as Alice was in charge (a little note: sequined top and red leather pants were totally stolen from Buffy's wardrobe in season three). There's a little talk of army vampire worry and then the party starts.
All minor characters from school (you know, the friends Bella treated like crap all those years) somehow show up even though I thought she was currently only friends with Angela and Ben. Also I'm sorry, we suddenly are told about this guy named Lee. Who is Lee? For that matter, who is Conner and Samantha? She acts like I'm supposed to know who these random names are but I don't because they are never mentioned in the first place. To her surprise (and mine because I don't get the impression from her description) Bella is enjoying herself. Then the kicker: Jacob shows up.
Quil and Embry are there as well. We have a lame apology scene and then Jacob gives her a bracelet he made himself (another indian stereotype I might add. You know, they ALL know how to carve...;rolls eyes;). This endears him more of course and now they're okay all of a sudden (except for the constant double standard Bella holds him too, but I figure that's a given). Then Jacob knows something is up and they ask Bella what's going on.
She explains about the newborn army. For some reason there's great shock as Bella realizes they're coming to Forks. Um...yeah? They're after YOU aren't they? Where are you? In Forks. Really, how stupid is this girl? So the werewolves offer their help. The vampires agree. For some reason this upsets Bella. Even though, last I checked, this is what she wanted. Whatever. Chapter ends with her being horrified that everyone's gearing up for battle. Sigh.
WORD LIST: none
GENERAL ANNOYANCES: All at once, everything was surreally normal.- Really? Surreal implies an odd experience. Normal implies...normality. So...it's both? What? This makes no sense. Unless of course, Meyer is once more trying to drill in our heads that Bella is not normal. In which case, we get it already.
More weak female stereotyping as Bella is horrified at the thought of coming battles.
ECLIPSE: Chapter 16-Epoch
CHAPTER SUMMARY: Bella graduates but as far as she's concerned it's not important. That's about it.
NOTES/THOUGHTS/REACTIONS:
We start with Bella moaning that thing that all woman have said at one point or another: I have nothing to wear. But in this case it's a little stupid. See, Bella is dressing for her graduation and apparently didn't buy a dress ahead of time like all other girls do because you know that would imply she's normal. So she's desperately searching for something dressy and evidently the only dressy thing she has is a khaki skirt...First, khaki skirts aren't very dressy. Second, that's the ONLY skirt she owns? What? Even I own more then one skirt and I don't even dress up that often (I take my que from Kristy Thomas and do the jeans and t-shirt route; if you don't know who Kristy Thomas is you didn't grow up during the nineties and haven't read The Baby-Sitters Club. Shame on you). Third, what about the dress she wore to the prom? Or to her birthday party? She couldn't wear those? Did she get rid of them or something? Then she thinks she knows she would have worn the red shirt that the vamps took and complains about that. But...I thought Meyer specifically said it was a SWEATSHIRT that got taken? Not a blouse? I think Meyer flubbed her own cannon yet again.
But fairy godmother Alice shows up and gives her a dress out of the blue. Wow. We should all have best friends like Alice. Got a special occasion? Have your BFF show up with a stylish number that will fit and look great on you. Seriously, I could have used her for my own prom...
Then as they talk something that's been bugging Bella (even though she never made mention of it that it bugged her but apparently it did) and she realizes, that the army isn't after the CULLENS. It's after HER! Um...okay. Because Bella is just that hard to get rid of, you see...Victoria needs a whole army of newborns to get rid of one human girl...yeah. I won't even bother going into how that makes no sense whatsoever but in a Mary Sue world, it makes total sense.
This horrifies Bella of course and she starts crying AGAIN (am I going to have to start a cry count now?) but then stops to go to graduation. She takes a moment to complain about Charlie again (heaven forbid he drive his own daughter to her graduation, that's so stupid, right?). He tries to have a moment and she rebuffs him as usual. Sigh.
Then Bella goes to take her place and ends up with a babbling Jessica who is excited (like, you know a NORMAL PERSON) and Bella of course treats this with great annoyance. Look, Miss Swan. I know you are above such petty things like being happy at your own graduation. But for some people, graduating from high school is a big deal. The least you could do, is smile back and make some chit chat. But that would be decent and I think we've established by now that you are in no way required to be decent, that would mean you're HUMAN and being human is a dirty word. Jessica's behavior at graduation is actually pretty normal. I ended up talking to people my last week of high school that I never talked to in my whole four years of school there. I'm sure others can say the same.
Basically Bella treats her graduation as some huge inconvience and I'm sorry it ticks me off. A lot of people are lucky to graduate at all. They actually had to you know, WORK to graduate. But little Miss Sue is just so bored by it all and practically says it's stupid:
She even implies she has more to gain from this then the rest of the students and yet she can't even be bothered to pay attention to the speech! Then you want to talk nonsense: the ceremony went by quickly. Um...no, no, no. No graduation ceremony goes by quickly, unless you have a graduating class of like twenty students.
The insignificant event (I'm sorry, why is this chapter called a word that means notable event when the notable event itself is a few paragraphs and treated like an inconvenience?) passes and she explains her theory to Edward. She has an annoying dinner with Charlie (again, what a huge inconvenience spending time with your family after you've graduated). There's actually a relatively touching moment between the two as she leaves for the party but it's awkward and really forced and random and Meyer kind of redeems herself a little with the scene too as Charlie gives Bella advice and saying she was right to throw a punch in the first place. Chapter ends with Bella going into the doom that is that party thrown in her honor. Yes, what a hardship.
WORD LIST: epoch, trite
GENERAL ANNOYANCES: Graduation being treated as insignificant and annoying.
I'm sorry, a whole army is being created to go after tiny little HUMAN Bella Swan? Are you kidding me?
NOTES/THOUGHTS/REACTIONS:
We start with Bella moaning that thing that all woman have said at one point or another: I have nothing to wear. But in this case it's a little stupid. See, Bella is dressing for her graduation and apparently didn't buy a dress ahead of time like all other girls do because you know that would imply she's normal. So she's desperately searching for something dressy and evidently the only dressy thing she has is a khaki skirt...First, khaki skirts aren't very dressy. Second, that's the ONLY skirt she owns? What? Even I own more then one skirt and I don't even dress up that often (I take my que from Kristy Thomas and do the jeans and t-shirt route; if you don't know who Kristy Thomas is you didn't grow up during the nineties and haven't read The Baby-Sitters Club. Shame on you). Third, what about the dress she wore to the prom? Or to her birthday party? She couldn't wear those? Did she get rid of them or something? Then she thinks she knows she would have worn the red shirt that the vamps took and complains about that. But...I thought Meyer specifically said it was a SWEATSHIRT that got taken? Not a blouse? I think Meyer flubbed her own cannon yet again.
But fairy godmother Alice shows up and gives her a dress out of the blue. Wow. We should all have best friends like Alice. Got a special occasion? Have your BFF show up with a stylish number that will fit and look great on you. Seriously, I could have used her for my own prom...
Then as they talk something that's been bugging Bella (even though she never made mention of it that it bugged her but apparently it did) and she realizes, that the army isn't after the CULLENS. It's after HER! Um...okay. Because Bella is just that hard to get rid of, you see...Victoria needs a whole army of newborns to get rid of one human girl...yeah. I won't even bother going into how that makes no sense whatsoever but in a Mary Sue world, it makes total sense.
This horrifies Bella of course and she starts crying AGAIN (am I going to have to start a cry count now?) but then stops to go to graduation. She takes a moment to complain about Charlie again (heaven forbid he drive his own daughter to her graduation, that's so stupid, right?). He tries to have a moment and she rebuffs him as usual. Sigh.
Then Bella goes to take her place and ends up with a babbling Jessica who is excited (like, you know a NORMAL PERSON) and Bella of course treats this with great annoyance. Look, Miss Swan. I know you are above such petty things like being happy at your own graduation. But for some people, graduating from high school is a big deal. The least you could do, is smile back and make some chit chat. But that would be decent and I think we've established by now that you are in no way required to be decent, that would mean you're HUMAN and being human is a dirty word. Jessica's behavior at graduation is actually pretty normal. I ended up talking to people my last week of high school that I never talked to in my whole four years of school there. I'm sure others can say the same.
Basically Bella treats her graduation as some huge inconvience and I'm sorry it ticks me off. A lot of people are lucky to graduate at all. They actually had to you know, WORK to graduate. But little Miss Sue is just so bored by it all and practically says it's stupid:
Because it was an ending, no matter what Eric, that valedictorian, had to say about commencement meaning "beginning" and all the rest of the trite nonsense.
From Eclipse, Chapter 16
She even implies she has more to gain from this then the rest of the students and yet she can't even be bothered to pay attention to the speech! Then you want to talk nonsense: the ceremony went by quickly. Um...no, no, no. No graduation ceremony goes by quickly, unless you have a graduating class of like twenty students.
The insignificant event (I'm sorry, why is this chapter called a word that means notable event when the notable event itself is a few paragraphs and treated like an inconvenience?) passes and she explains her theory to Edward. She has an annoying dinner with Charlie (again, what a huge inconvenience spending time with your family after you've graduated). There's actually a relatively touching moment between the two as she leaves for the party but it's awkward and really forced and random and Meyer kind of redeems herself a little with the scene too as Charlie gives Bella advice and saying she was right to throw a punch in the first place. Chapter ends with Bella going into the doom that is that party thrown in her honor. Yes, what a hardship.
WORD LIST: epoch, trite
GENERAL ANNOYANCES: Graduation being treated as insignificant and annoying.
I'm sorry, a whole army is being created to go after tiny little HUMAN Bella Swan? Are you kidding me?
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