BREAKING DAWN: Chapter 3-Big Day

CHAPTER SUMMARY: The sap continues as Bella and Edward get married without one single conflict.

COMMENTARY/NOTES/THOUGHTS/REACTIONS:
This starts as Bella wakes up and is irritated with herself for having a dark dream the night before her wedding. She then moves on to her daily routine and so the obvious foreshadow is ignored. So why have it in the first place?
Anyway, even before her wedding, Bella acts as superhousewife and cleans because every girl does this on her wedding day, you know. Then we're treated to super boring conversation between her and Charlie and then when Alice arrives between her and Alice. The only thing revealed that is remotely interesting in all this talk is that apparently Edward is deciding the honeymoon local on his own and making it a big mystery to Bella. They didn't discuss where they were going once. Once more, Bella is letting Edward do all the deciding. I'm sorry, how is this being equal exactly? Plus, heaven forbid the two actually do anything like a normal couple you know? Discuss where to go on your honeymoon like everyone else? That's crazy talk!
We get to the Cullens house and of course super shopper Alice gets everything done perfectly. Even though she had no input on what the bride even wanted. Personally I think Alice getting everything perfectly fitting and to the person's taste with no help is Alice's real superpower. Oh, and how weird is it that Bella, who claims not to be a nature person or show any previous knowledge of flowers, is able to pinpoint flower fragrances so accurately? Oh, I keep forgetting, she's a Mary Sue. Never mind.
Roselie arrives and Bella's insecurity pops up again. This would be more interesting to me if Meyer, you know actually acknowledged her insecurity. Because by this point it's pretty obvious that she has deep insecurity issues. Oh, and by acknowledging it, I don't mean her having another character assure Bella that she's beautiful and such a wonderful human being. Yet another way Meyer fails with this series.
Anyway Roselie offers to help, Bella is shocked and we get summarizing, and I start to think there may be a moment between the two that could be you know, actually thoughtful. But no. Roselie fixes her hair and we get much describing of all the girly scenes of wedding preperations. It's all very calm and goes off perfectly. You know what's missing from this wedding? The crisis. Every wedding planner can tell you, there's always SOME sort of crisis at a wedding. There is no such thing as the perfect wedding day. For example at my parents wedding (who have now been married thirty years) my Dad's tux went missing in the church. They all spend hours searching frantically for it and finally found it in one of the rooms just thirty minutes or so before the ceremony. My Mom has yet to let my Dad forget that. But we don't get any of that at this wedding.
Oh no. Dress fits perfectly and looks wonderful. Everyone is in their right place. No high nerves, frantic searching for bouquets, telling relatives not to drink (oh...sorry, that's probably just my family...), not even an emotional moment where Charlie asks Bella if she's sure she's ready for this which I for one was totally expecting considering the bastardization of his character in these last two books.
Nope. It all goes wonderfully. Bella has a few nerves but that's every bride and I don't even get the annual Bella trips moment. I feel cheated. Not to mention bored and slightly ready to yak. Basically they get their ceremony done without a hitch and bing bang boom, Edward and Bella are married. We don't even get Bella worried about it anymore because the minute it's done Bella is all ecstatic and going "I'm Edwards! He is mine! I was so silly to worry about this!" or aka what Meyer calls character developement. Snore.

WORD LIST: assailed, tottered
GENERAL ANNOYANCES: "I was barely conscious that Carlisle stood by his side, and Angela's father behind them both."-First, conscious is not the right word to use here. A better word might have been aware? Second, all of a sudden Angela is a minister's daughter? This seems like an interesting character detail. Why are we all of a sudden finding this out IN THE LAST BOOK? God Meyer, you really do make this up as you go, don't you?