ECLIPSE: Chapter 1-Ultimatum

CHAPTER SUMMARY: There aren't any ultimatums in this chapter, don't know why it's called that. Bella and Charlie argue about herself, talk of future, Bella wants to see Jacob and Edward is a controlling boyfriend. This book may actually be worse then New Moon...

NOTES/THOUGHTS/REACTIONS:
We start off with Bella reading a note from Jacob only ninety percent of it's crossed out but we can still read it anyway...if Jacob didn't want her to see the obvious crossed out words why did he just write it on a new piece of paper? Also? A little thing called ERASERS. Perhaps you've heard of them? There are even ones for pens nowadays (they're really cool too) but in a world where no one has an iPod or a cell phone I don't know why I expect people to have erasers.
Much pondering goes on as Bella reflects on how much pain she is in...because Jacob is in pain and that is hurting her. Yeah. Will not even comment on how much I laugh at this because it's frankly her OWN DAMN FAULT. But whatever. We move on right into the gender stereotyping: Charlie trying and failing to make a meal for Bella. Question, how is it a full grown man who has lived on his own for YEARS before Bella came along and not burned the house down, not know that you don't put metal in the microwave? Seriously? This is beyond stupid. My dad knows that and he's not what you call a master chef. I knew that when I was FIVE because most mother drill that into kids or at least mine did. You cannot tell me he was never taught that as a kid. Now you're just shaming men, Meyer.
Bella whines about how Charlie has been such a jerk. See, not only is she grounded, she can only see Edward for two and a half hours everyday under supervision. But she still sees Edward when he sneaks into her bedroom, but still it's SO UNFAIR. Um, NOT. That is actually quite a lax punishment in my book, especially considering she still sees him behind Charlies back. Also a little not Meyer, when Bella is thinking of EDWARD in the fiance term, it should be ONE E. Two Es like what you put, is the FEMININE form of it, or are you trying to tell us something about Edward?
Anyway, Bella whines about how she has to spend a few hours away from Edward and then there is foreshadow about killings in Seattle and Charlie complains that it's because it's a big city...apparently he now all of a sudden is a city hater. Okay, I can buy that it would explain why he was so bent on staying in Forks, however why is it now just coming up? If he hated big cities so much I would think it would come up in Twilight or something. Bella never once mentioned her dad's feelings on cities nor did he ever rant about them, ditto New Moon. Wierd and shows me that Meyer just decided that this was a good character trait to throw in without thinking about WHY he feels this way. Sloppy Meyer, real sloppy.
Well, after that random character trait throw-in, Bella and Charlie start to talk. Or Charlie talks and Bella kind of but doesn't really listen and thinks she's right as usual. This line made me laugh out loud:

"So I'm thinking maybe you deserve a parole for good behavior. For a teenager, you're amazingly non-whiney."
From Eclipse, Chapter 1

Wow...just WOW. I can't decide if this is Meyer who doesn't know her main character at all or Charlie who doesn't know his daughter at all. I'm thinking it's a little bit of both (but in Charlie's defense Bella lies to him constantly so really, he doesn't have much choice; Meyer who is writing this damn thing has no such excuse). Because what was Bella doing a few pages ago? WHINING. What did she do throughout Twilight and New Moon? WHINING. So yeah...moving on.
Basic gist of the conversation is that Charlie lessens Bella's punishment with the conditions that she not involve herself so much with her boyfriend. YES! Thank you! This is actually very sound advice and I heartily approve. Bella however thinks it's stupid and is of course not going to listen because Charlie doesn't know what he's talking about. I beg to differ but whatever. Oh, and in all this there is recap going on with her friends and basically Angela and Ben are the only ones she seriously considers friends and I don't think she counts them as friends because what amount of thought does she give them? None.
There is then talk of college. Bella of course got into a bunch of them and can't muster up any enthusiam about the subject. I thought this girl was supposed to be intellectual? Most people I know were EXCITED about college, even the ones who were maybe not that academic. But no, Bella just sniffs and que conversation about money issues because we're still supposed to believe that she and her parents are poor (even though there magically was enough money for motercycle parts and a plane ticket to Italy) and that there hasn't been enough money saved up in ye olde college fund. I've already said my stuff on how this doesn't fly in New Moon so I'll move on.
As if this chapter wasn't bad enough, Edward shows up. Que vivid description here. I hated this:

"Good evening, Charlie." Edward was always flawlessly polite, though Charlie didn't deserve it.
From Eclipse, Chapter 1

Excuse me, you little brat, you may not be happy with the punishment but you deserved it and your father has every right not to trust a guy BROKE YOUR HEART and caused his family grief. Don't try and make Edward out to be the better person here just because he's "polite". Tell me, has Edward APOLOGIZED to Charlie for what he did to you? I'm betting no. So you know what? You're a brat and I'm quickly remembering why I hate this series.
More talk of college ensues and oh look, Edward got into all the Ivy League schools, big surprise there. He is perfect so of course he would be Ivy League. Then he and Bella leave and there's talk that Bella actually isn't going to college because of the whole vampire thing. Lovely message to teen girls Meyer: college isn't important! Staying with your boyfriend from high school is! I know some high school sweethearts make it and that's great. But eighty percent of the time? DOESN'T WORK OUT. I also love how once again it's: give it all up for the man you love. I have a question, why can't the man worry about making the WOMAN happy for a change? Or why can't they compromise so both can be happy?
Oh, there's also a conversation about Whuthering Hieghts which in case we didn't get it, is suposed to illusion this series to that classic. Or something like that I think. Once more, Meyer shows she understands NOTHING about classics. I will say Edward is right, it's not a love story. However, it's not a hate story either. It was social commentary on class division, obsession, and revenge. It is actually a very beautifully written story (unlike this piece of junk) and while it's not my favorite book, I appreciate the things the author had to say. Oh, and Bella? Heathcliff and Catherine were NOT IN LOVE. They were OBSESSED with each other. There is a HUGE difference. But considering you think what you and Edward have is true love I'm not that surprised that you totally missed that.
There's then some pointlessness about the Seatle killings being a new vampire (why Bella is so shocked about this, I don't know) and then it's onto Bella wanting to be friends with Jacob, for HIM because he's evidently in such pain. Did anyone else get this? Because I didn't really see how he was in pain. I love how Bella just assumes he cannot possibly be happy or healthy without her and that her presence will make everything all right. I would think it would make it worse, but apparently not. Then Edward argues against it and of course Bella backs down but is not going to give up. End of boring chapter.

WORD LIST: stringent, claudestine, convoluted, malignant
POSIBLE EDITS: fiancee in reference to Edward should be fiance.
Chapter title.
GENERAL ANNOYANCES: Bella. Sexism. Edward.
My jaw flexed.-What? How does a jaw flex? I don't think that's physically possible.