NEW MOON: Chapter 16-Paris

CHAPTER SUMMARY: Bella sadly doesn't drown. She thinks how her life is like Romeo and Juliet (when it's SO NOT) and OMG Carlisle's car is in the drive way prompting Jacob to be an ass (and kind of a wimp), and Bella realizes too late how much danger she was in on the cliff. I want this book to be over with already.

NOTES/THOUGHTS/REACTIONS:
We open with the predictable guy saves girl from drowning scene. About the only way that this isn't at all like the other guy saves girl from drowning scenes is a) the girl didn't try to drown on purpose in the other scenes, and b) the girl is usually grateful for being saved. Seriously, Bella does not once say: hey, thanks for saving my life. She just apologizes for being stupid and Jacob agrees that she was stupid. But no where in there is a thank you for risking your life for me. Am I the only one who finds this a) Really rude, and b) Kind of wrong? Just saying.
Perhaps Meyer forgot the thank you bit in favor of rushing to tell us that Harry is now dead. This is a bummer, I liked Harry. Bella, for some wierd reason, feels guilt over this. Um...what? No worry over the guy himself who is her father's best friend but guilt because "no one should be worrying about me right now". I'm sure this was another attempt on Meyer's part to show us "See? She's so selfless!" but it falls flat instead because yet again Bella manages to make someone elses predicament all about her. Also again, no real worry or remorse for Harry himself.
Jacob brings Bella to his place where she falls asleep and dreams again. I'm sorry but this girl has WAY TOO MANY DREAMS. No person dreams this much, nor do they always have such vivid and poigntant dreams like she always has. They have the stupid naked in a room full of people dream...not that I've had that dream that's just an example ;whistles;. It is also pretty pointless too because the dream itself is pointless and adds nothing to the story.
Bella wakes up and there is another pointless scene where Meyer just has to compare her dime store romance to a classic work of literature which might as well be her saying: my books are classics! You are reading a classic in the making!. Ugh. First of all, Twilight is hardly going to become a classic. Name dropping good books and trying to point out how your book is like a classic does not make it a classic. This is one of my many irritations with Meyer in the fact that she seems intent on making Twilight out to be a literary masterpiece and just can't accept that she's actually just written a YA romance novel. If she just accepted Twilight as it was and didn't try to make it more, then maybe I wouldn't be half as irritated with her as I am.
But she does and so I now feel the need to point out why Twilight IS IN NO WAY like Romeo and Juliet. A) Romeo and Juliet is actually well written. I will argue it's not the best of Shakespeare's works, but it's still good. B) Romeo and Juliet is a SATIRE and a TRAGEDY combined. Twilight is neither of these things. Now if Twilight WERE a satire I would recant all the bad things I have said about this series and call Meyer a genius. However, it is clear she means every word written in this series so it is sadly not a satire. C) Romeo and Juliet actually had legit problems. Most of the problems that develope for Bella and Edward are born out of either their own stupidity or do not actually exist. D) Romeo and Juliet actually were star-crossed lovers. Bella and Edward are happily accepted and again have no issues so they are not star-crossed lover. So I'm sorry Meyer, THIS IS NOT ROMEO AND JULIET. Please retake your English courses and accept that you write romance novels. There is nothing wrong with writing romance novels. Accept it and embrace it and please stop trying to make Twilight into what it isn't.
Where was I? Oh yes, Bella totally getting Shakespeare wrong. I also would like to point out that as Bella and Edward aren't even together anymore this Romeo and Juliet thing and trying to make Jacob into Paris really is a bad comparison to begin with because as I've said: the two situations are completely different. Bella's thoughts go on for a long time and just when I'm starting to get tired of the pointlessness Billy shows up to confirm that Harry is dead. I love how even in the wake of Harry's death, Bella STILL manages to think about her romantic entanglements. She doesn't wonder what will happen now to the family (a small thought of poor Sue and kids does not count, I'm sorry) or even thoughts of what she should do to help them out. Nope. She thinks about her love life. Nice. I also want to know why it's so important for JACOB to be happy? Please note her thoughts are on how to make the male happy. Not at all about how she herself feels about the situation. Yes, this is another sexist moment in this series.
Then suddenly she and Jacob are at her house and Jacob is apparently as selfish as she is and has been thinking about the two of them too. Then we get more of Bella's thoughts as she and Jacob are about to kiss. I think the reason I don't feel any emotion during these so-called romantic tension scenes is a) I want to roll my eyes at the characters stupidity and b) half the romantic tension is dulled by TOO MANY WORDS and not enough showing. We don't need Bella's constant thought commentary during these scenes Meyer, just a note. We understand the situation. We don't need constant explanation of what the situation is or you telling us how we should feel about it.
The romantic moment (if one can call it that) is blown by Jacob smelling a vampire and he goes into caveman mode (is it me or is this like the default setting for all the guys in this series?) and starts to yank Bella out of there but she spots a car and automatically knows it's Carlisle's. Insert stupid and wierd description of how she felt inside the car (really, what is this paragraph about?).
Jacob is ticked that she wants to go inside to meet the Cullens and I don't get the motivation here at all. I get Jacob doesn't like vamps but he's met Edward and seemed pretty okay with the Cullens beforehand. So really, he just suddenly has decided he can't be in the same room with one of them now so he runs off? Leaving Bella behind? Being mad and going in with her would seem more his thing, but this...just seems random and ill thought out and like Meyer wanted him to be made out to be a jerk. Well, she succeeded.
Bella watches him leave and for some reason we're now told that Victoria was close enough to kill her at the cliffs. Um...a) this wasn't neccessary, and b) if it was neccessary it probably would have been better told at the cliffs and not here when she's just had an arguement with Jacob because it seems like a wierd thing for her to think about now. But honestly, this whole chapter was kind of overly long and full of wierd random actions. It ends with someone being in Bella's house waiting for her. Oh the suspense is killing me! Except that it's kind of...not.

WORD LIST: None this chapter, good job Meyer!
POSSIBLE EDITS: I shook my head, trying to absorb what he was staying.-Sigh...you meant to type in SAYING instead of staying. This is why editors come in handy Meyer.
I wondered vaguely if it was wrong to sleep...or was I getting drowing mixed up with concussions...?-The three period business is not needed. I get you're trying to be stylistic with Bella's inner voice, but it's a fail here. just put a comma in the first one and leave the last three periods out.
GENERAL ANNOYANCES: What a stupid time to be reckless-There's a smart time to be reckless?
At that moment the rain stopped. I hadn't realized we were already back to Jacob's house until he walked through the door. The storm pounded against the roof.-You just said the rain stopped...is there storm going on or isn't there? I'm confused.