NEW MOON: Chapter 10-The Meadow

CHAPTER SUMMARY: Something besides mindless dialogue actually happens! Then it goes back to boring again. Sigh.

NOTES/THOUGHTS/REACTIONS:
It starts out with Bella being amazingly worried about Jacob and calling him up like a thousand times a week or so. Um...gee, Bella. Do you NOT have a life? I understand you're worried about him and that's great that you're finally worried about someone else besides you and Edward but seriously. Also I have to comment on this:

All I knew about mono was that you were supposed to get it from kissing, which was clearly not the case with Jake.
From New Moon, Chapter 10

First, you don't get mono from just kissing and it's been heavily disputed that you get it by kissing in the first place. That is a stupid schoolyard myth made up and used by bullies to tease couples. Do some actual research Meyer. Second, how does Bella know Jacob hasn't been kissing someone? They weren't mutually exclusive nor, are they spending every waking hour together so how does she know Jacob hasn't kissed someone? I'm just saying. Third, again, looking up stuff on the internet and trusting the first sight you see is not a good way to get information. Read books instead Bella, you know those things you supposedly like so much but never actually seem to read?
I also have to say, Bella is mighty dumb to be so suspicious. She has no grounds for it. Even if she did, Billy is Jacob's parent/guardian and can raise his kid how he sees fit. If he decides it's not safe for Jacob to have visitors, Bella should respect that. But then this is Bella, I've yet to see her show respect for anything in this series. Edward doesn't count, worship/obsession is not respect.
But anyway, Bella gets annoyed when she can't see her boytoy...I mean friend/boyfriend whatever he is now. She goes back into emo mode and I have to sigh again. Seriously, this girl seems to have no inner strength what so ever. It would have been awesome if New Moon had been instead about Bella discover that she is perfectly strong on her own and can survive without Edward. Instead, Meyer made it so all she did was transfer her reliance on Edward to Jacob instead. Not only does this suck, it is massively unfair to Jacob because it's pretty obvious he's a second choice and we all know the minute Edward shows up she's going to drop him like a hot potato. He will show up too. I don't even need to know there are two more books to know this.
Well, Bella calls Jacob yet again and discovers he's off with friends instead of calling her. Now a sad panda, she lies to Charlie (again, should I be counting all of Bella's lies too? Nah, that'd be too many to keep track of) again. Once more using Jessica as her scapegoat. Nice, and she wonders why Jessica isn't talking to her? This is also another reason she's not talking to you Bella:

I wasn't going to call Jessica. As far as I could tell, Jessica had crossed over to the dark side.
From New Moon, Chapter 10

Or, you know, she's just tired of taking your crap. I personally applaud her. So Bella instead does the super smart thing and goes looking for the meadow AGAIN. God, this girl is STUPID. Dangerous animals, HELLO. When your own father, who is the CHIEF OF POLICE, tells you to not hike in the woods, maybe it would be a good idea to LISTEN. Just another reason this girl is so not intelligent.
Many more paragraphs of vivid description are next. Huh, haven't had much of these in this book. I didn't miss them. All the vivid description leads to Bella finally finding the meadow. But this doesn't make her happy, it depresses her even more. Which makes me ask: if you knew it was going to effect you this badly WHY ARE YOU SEARCHING FOR IT YOU DUMB BROAD. I've said it before and I'll say it again: Bella is a masochist.
Bella starts to leave the meadow and big paragraph describing her emotions as she sees...Laurent. Um...did we need all those emotions other then surprise? Not really. Then, because Meyer seems to think her readers have no memory skills, there is a recap of who Laurent is. I find it interesting to note that now Bella says he is beautiful. As seem to recall, she wasn't so flattering in her descriptions of him in Twilight. For some reason, she's happy to see him and acts like they're the best of friends or something. I also seem to recall they didn't say more then two three words to each other...he also said she would make a good meal or something along those lines if I remember correctly. So really, why is she so damn happy to see him? This statement especially makes no sense:

I studied his features with a strangely greedy sense of release. here was someone I didn't have to pretend for-someone who already knew everything I could never say.
From New Moon, Chapter 10

Seriously, where the hell is this coming from? Now I'm beginning to wonder if Bella's memory is slightly unhinged or something. At least she finally starts to realize he's dangerous...way too late of course, but she realizes it at least. Then when she realizes it she just stands there, again. Listens again as a vampire saying he's going to kill her monologues. At least this monologue reveals something: Victoria is after Bella. But still, this is the same thing that happened in Twilight: her listening while her killer is monologuing to her. First, do something different Meyer. Second, didn't she learn her lesson the last time?
Well, this time Bella is saved again. But instead of vampires she's saved by wolves...huge bear-like wolves. They protect her, a brown-haired one reminds her of Jacob (ding ding...foreshadow...ding ding) and she finally starts to run...after the bad guy and the wolves leave... Um...yeah, you maybe should have done that BEFOREHAND? This girls fight/flight instincts suck.
More vivid description as she runs through the forest. Charlie finds her and for some reason doesn't ground her butt when he finds out she a)lied to him and b) went into the forest after he told her not too. As much as I like Charlie, I'm kind of beginning to see why she is the way she is. No one tells her that the things she's doing are wrong, and therefore she keeps doing them because she knows she's never going to get punished...or it could just be that she's a big Mary Sue and Mary Sue's never make mistakes.
But whatever, Bella gets into no trouble at all and there is more foreshadow as Charlie mentions seeing Jacob argue with friends. Seriously Meyer, you're abusing foreshadow, stop it. After Bella listens to the foreshadow, she goes up to her room and goes all emo because she's now terrified of Victoria coming after her. I'm just happy that something finally happened. Too bad it doesn't last.

WORD LIST: perforated, compunctions
POSSIBLE EDITS: All the single sentences being used as paragraphs. For instance: Jacob didn't call. NOT A PARAGRAPH.
At least Jacob wasn't going to die, too.-Comma after die is not needed.
GENERAL ANNOYANCES: Bella going into emo mode again
The call of a jaybird made me leap back-Bella is suddenly an expert on birdcalls? I thought she wasn't a nature person?
The sudden rush of a squirrel up a hemlock made me scream-again, she suddenly can identify tree types?