NOTES/THOUGHTS/REACTIONS:
So excitement time! Jacob is coming over to do...something. Edward leaves because he and Jacob can't be in each other's presence and I actually think this is quite wise on his part but Bella thinks it's all childish. We get a random description of hot Jacob which goes into some awkward conversation and wierdness about something about the wolves needing to carry around their cloths...okay. Please note, this huge problem was never once mentioned in New Moon, you would think the problem of cloths would have been brought up as Jacob was shifting in front of Bella and other people in there...
But it deterioates from there into Jacob trying to flirt and Bella going "oh noes! I've led him astray with my oogling!" and then Meyer assuring everyone that no, she is in no way attracted to Jacob. Whatever. Jacob goes into her room makes a few rude comments about the smells (is it me or is Meyer trying really too hard to pass Jacob off as a jerk to make Edward look better?). Then...nothing new is discovered. Great.
Then Jacob asks all these awkward questions that are honestly none of his busineess. I love this gem:
"Well...I was wondering do you...y'know, kiss him?"
From Eclipse, Chapter 10
Good lord Meyer, Jacob is not FIVE. I'm sure he's quite aware by now that boys and girls kiss when they are a couple. I know you are Team Edward. That much is obvious. Please stop trying to sway everyone else to be. Oh, and the joke about Edward having no fangs? Only proves my point that the CULLENS ARE NOT VAMPIRES. Because Vampires? HAVE FANGS.
Jacob then once again gets upset about the mentioning of Bella's change and I'm wondering how many more times we're going to see the same scene over and over again: Jacob trying to talk to Bella about this, her ignoring him, him getting upset about something THAT HE KNEW WAS GOING TO HAPPEN. Seriously, this is like the third time this scene has played out in this book alone. MOVE ON MEYER.
Somehow in his anger Jacob cuts himself with a knife (real smart there banging around cutlry) and Bella's nausea around blood resurfaces all of a sudden (remember how it was almost nonexistant in New Moon?) and she plays caring female stereotype to Jacob's bleeding hero stereotype. Wow. Meyer leaves no romantic cliche unturned in these books.
But turns out Jacob heals really fast (another thing that seems to be new with the werewolves) and Bella goes about cleaning because she is a female, though Meyer tries to make it out like she has OCD. Um...no. If she had OCD, she'd be constantly cleaning, her room would not be a mess, she'd probably also have a fear of germs. She'd be like Emma on Glee, constantly rubbing/cleaning things because messes bother her (yes, I'm Gleek and I think even when the show's at it's cheesiest it's better then this crap). So, no sorry Meyer, her being OCD does not fly or camoflauge your gender stereotyping.
We get more of Jacob acting like a jerk and then we get this:
He made a noise at the back of his throat. "Is he your warden, now, too? You know, I saw this story on the news last week about controlling, abusive teenage relationships and-"
From Eclipse, Chapter 10
Yes, he actually said what I've been thinking all along: this relationship is controlling and vastly unhealthy and while not abusive yet, has the signs of going there. I'm actually a little shocked Meyer even mentioned it. But I'm not so shocked that she ignored it as well by having Bella dismiss Jacob as being ridiculous when HE HAS A POINT.
My theory about why this is here? Meyer probably heard the criticism people were giving about Bella and Edward's creepy relationship and needing to stamp down those rumors fast because they might make her fans you know, think for themselves as they reread the book, put this in here as a joke in order to make fans not take the legit questioning seriously. Because you know, as far as the fans are concerned if Bella doesn't like it or take it seriously then they themselves (who are Bella as they are reading this) won't listen to it either. Sadly it seems to have worked. Want proof? Go to any Twihard forum. In fact I think there's a discusion somewhere on TwiMoms.com about the how ridiculous it all is that people think Bella and Edward have a unhealthy relationship. Sigh.
So that inturruption on the quote was Bella kicking him out and then Edward comes back and is a jerk making light about Jacob stabbing himself. Please note, the pro-werewolf stance seems to have disapeared. Then he hands her an envelope and oh joy, oh rapture, our Mary Sue got into Dartmouth! But is she super thrilled about it? No. In fact, she's almost downright angry about it. Just seriously, are you kidding me?
First, I want to go into the utter Mary Sueness of Bella getting into one of the toughest schools in the country without any extra curricular activities whatsoever. Or even apparently any studying. Seriously, I've never once seen Bella care about school enough that she would be accepted to Dartmouth in the first place. Most kids who go to these Ivy League schools have busted their butts to get in there. They have a intimidating GPA, they have their careers planned out since at least Middle School, they have a buttload of extra curriculars like Clubs or whatnot. Oh, and when they get accepted, THEY ARE HAPPY ABOUT IT BECAUSE THEY KNOW IT'S A BIG DEAL.
When have we seen Bella do any of the above? Oh yeah, NEVER. Yeah, she reads...apparently. But I've never once heard her mention any clubs, any future career plans, anything that would even suggest that she is Ivy League material yet she magically gets in there and she doesn't have the decency to get excited about it. Never mind all those other kids who probably busted their butt and actually CARE about their education. God, this annoys me so much. I need to move on...
The ungrateful brat moves on to her much grander plans: abandoning her family and going to a state school in Alaska to give up her soul to be with her boyfriend. I have mentioned what a wonderful role model Bella is NOT haven't I? I have? Good. After these wonderful inspiring plans, we yet again go back to the pointless scent business and then it's moved onto the fact that there may now be more then one new vamp in Seattle. Now, this is actually a problem because this might mean the Volturi will come and check in on Bella. Um...how would they hear about killings in Seattle and immediately assume new vampires, and then immediately assume Bella has something to do with it and check up on her? Meyer is doing the leaps in logic thing again...
More babble and it turns out Bella gets persmission from her guy to hang out with her friend. Who says chilvery is dead, right? She goes to ride her bike and oh look! Edward has gotten a bike too! For some reason Bella has an issue with this. This is obviously Edward trying to gain more control over Bella (and I also think it's another example of "my dick is bigger!", cause you know bigger more expensive bike means better right?) because he can't let Bella have one thing he isn't apart of. She on the other hand is just worried that she'll slow him down. Meyer...just...UGH.
They get to La Push, another obvious "my dick is bigger!" moment with Edward kissing Bella in La Push and then quickly leaving. She and Jacob go inside. Oh, the suspense! Sigh.
WORD LIST: loped, consternation
GENERAL ANNOYANCES: Is he your warden, now, too?-There does not need to be an extra comma after warden.
"Edward!" I sang, throwing mysef at him.-a) why are you singing in a normal conversation? b)You just saw him a few minutes ago, you twit, c) it's physically impossible to throw yourself at someone. Launch yourself, sure, but throw yourself? Not really.
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