NOTES/THOUGHTS/REACTIONS:
Okay, I know I've been spontanious with the reviews it's just that it's holiday season at the store I work at and if you know retail, you know that this is exhausting and the last thing I want to do is come home and read through a crappy book like this. Plus, I've been busy with actual good books (for the most part...) for my book review blog. But I promised myself I would actually read through this entire series this year and so I'm going to TRY and have a chapter at least every day now, or at the very least every other day. To celebrate at the end, I'm going to give you a complete run down of one hundred reasons why this book is bad (with evidence) as well as my list of why Harry Potter is better then this, and a complete list of books that are better then this series and thus will end this blog. Jury is still out on whether I will bother with Bree Tanner and The Host.
Now that you know my plans, lets move on, shall we? So this chapter is cleverly titled first hunt. Who wants to guess about what happens? If you guessed that Bella goes on a hunt and is super great at it like she is at everything else, congratulations, you win cookies ;sends them virtually to you;. Because this is pretty much the whole pointless chapter.
Bella goes off hunting with Edward. Briefly she inquires about Renesmee (am I the only one who thinks it's weird that there are two e letters at the end of that name? If it's a combination shouldn't it be spelled Reneesme?) and we get hinting of Jacob imprinting on the baby but of course, Edward doesn't tell her this and insteads dodges the questions she has. I see that even though she's a vampire now, Bella is still not equal nor will she be told information that she should know because she's a silly over emotinal female. Sigh. Even when the women get powers, they're STILL demeaned in this series.
Oh, and if you want a laugh, she goes hunting in a blue silk cocktail dress that Alice apparently fit her in. I'm sorry WHAT? I know Alice likes high fashion, but there is practical high fashion out there. This is so totally ridiculous that I don't know where to begin so I'm moving on.
They start off hunting and we are treated to more scenes where Bella is such a super awesome vampire. Hell, she's such an awesome vampire now that the pesky little clumsiness trait she had is totally gone! So now Bella is full blown Mary Sue, with powers! Yay! As if I didn't find her character boring enough BEFORE she was a vampire. Oh, and to add to the ridiculousness of the dress, she's also doing all this leaping and hunting with SILVER SATIN SHOES. That apparently didn't break or fall off when she was doing all these superman heroics. Those must be some well made shoes. Oh, never mind she gets rid of them before she does the serious hunting. But keeps the cocktail dress.
More super awesome Bella scenes (where she's not at all hindered by her impractical dress). I'm so bored with this. I was bored when it started. I'm bored now. Then things just get confusing. I literally am not sure what is going on. Particularly with this exchange:
"How did you do that?" he demanded.
"You let me beat you before, didn't you?" I demanded back, ignoring his question.
From Breaking Dawn, Chapter 21
Beat him before? Huh? What is she even talking about?! I must have missed something...if a Twihard could explain this to me, please do so. Confusing exchange quickly turns into MORE Bella is so awesome now scenes with Edward heaping praise on her. Gag me with a spoon. Then we are treated to a gross scene where she kills a mountain lion. You know for someone who is a vegetarian, I find it odd that Meyer has no problem killing off animals in this book. Wonder what Freud would have to say about that?
Annoying scene about Edward lamenting that he has trouble with not having to protect her now. Some lame thing about how blood with herbivores smells different then carnivores which makes no sense whatsoever. More hunting scenes. I have to wonder where they're finding all this unprotected wildlife in WASHINGTON STATE but whatever.
Turns out hunting turns Bella on so we're treated to scenes with her and Edward. Yack. She asks to see her baby and boring pointless chapter ends. Once again: HOW DID THIS GET PUBLISHED?!
WORD LIST: exultant, dessicated, compulsory
GENERAL ANNOYANCES: she hunts in a cocktail dress? Seriously?
My mouth felt like four o'clock on a June afternoon in Death Valley.-Um...what? She's thirsty? Hungry? What does this sentance even mean?!
Mostly him-his strange honey-lilac-and-sun perfume.-First, why are there hyphans between honey lilac and sun? That's not needed, second what is a honey lilac? I'm pretty sure that flower doesn't exist and SUN DOESN'T HAVE A SMELL.
I definitely need to finish these books so that i can get back to reading your hilarious posts!
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