NOTES/THOUGHTS/REACTIONS:
So we left off with Edward about to come into the sun. Instead of burning in the sun, LIKE HE SHOULD BECAUSE HE'S A VAMPIRE, he sparkles. This brings me to my next reason for disliking Twilight:
THESE ARE NOT VAMPIRES.
Vampires are EVIL. They suck blood to survive, they live forever, they can be staked in the heart, they burn in the sunlight. What do they not do? Sparkle. I was willing to forgo the other stuff that Meyer screwed up because other people have messed with vampire mythos and so that's okay, but this sparkle thing was just too much and so dumb I had to shake my head. There's a point where you mess with mythos on creatures so much where they do not resemble the creature they were and this is what Meyer did. I mean for crying out loud, these guys don't even have fangs! So yeah, these are not vampires. I would have appreciated it more if Meyer had maybe come up with a new name for them herself. Creating a relative of sorts for vamps but no. she insists these are vampires because she couldn't come up with her own term for them (and she probably knew that vampire books in teen fiction is a big thing and would sell, don't tell me she didn't know that, everyone in publishing knows that) and is convinced she is still following mythology. If she did actual research she would know she is not and have come up with an explanation. But she didn't and didn't think things through once more and sparkling people masquarading as vampires is the result.
Even worse then the sparkling is the over the top literary prose we get. It is clear that Meyer is in her element here:
He lay perfectly still in the grass, his shirt open over his sculptedk
incandescent chest, his scintillating arms bare. His glistening, pale lavender
lids were shut, though of course he didn't sleep. A pefect statue, carved in
some unknown stone, smooth like marble, glittering like crystal.
From Twilight, page 260
No, I did not make that up. It's in there. While I'm busy throwing up at the gushing, let me point out that these are run on sentences. Also, how can anyone have lavender lids? Is Edward wearing make-up? He sparkles and wears eyeshadow and refuses to make a move on a girl who obviously has the hots for him. Are we sure this guy isn't gay? Or bisexual at the least? Not to stereotype or anything but still. It makes you wonder.
More vivid discription and even when Bella is apparently happy, she finds something to complain about:
I enjoyed the sun, too, though the air wasn't quite dry enough for my
taste.
From Twilight, page 261
Good god, is this girl obsessed with weather or something? What human being in their right mind notices stupid things like whether the air is dry or not (which is stupid because air cannot be dry) when they are suposed to be happy with the one they are in love with?
Then we get more yak worthy conversation between Edward and Bella. She touches him, there is talk and we get this moronic statement:
"I was wishing that I could believe you were real."
From Twilight, page 262
For godsakes, YOU ARE TOUCHING HIM so obviously he's real you moron. Get. The. Hell. Over. It. I'm getting really tired of Bella acting like Edward is the messiah or something. She does this practically every time she sees him and it's getting OLD. More cuddling and then we get Edward feeling sorry for himself some more. Then we get more conversation that is basically a rehash of all the previous ones they've had: I'm dangerous, Bella. No you aren't, Edward. I should stay away from you but I can't. I crave your blood! You smell nice! Then we get this infamous line:
"So what you're saying is, I'm your brand of heroin?"
From Twilight, page 267
Yes, Anti's did not make that line up. We don't have to make up all the bad corny lines, it's there for the world to see and mock. But for some reason Twihards don't like it when you mock the series even though it pretty much BEGS to be mocked. This line is just one example. If Twihards got over it and embraced the cheesiness like we Trekkies and Star Wars fans have with our fandom, I would like them so much more.
Then we get Edward basically telling his side of the past few months. Because we really need a rehash of events, we can't remember it on our own. Nope, we need the author reminding us, only now we see it through Edward's eyes. This is one reason why I don't understand why she needed to write Midnight Sun to begin with. Because basically, Midnight Sun is told here. We are told what Edward was feeling, going through, yadda yadda. This is more example of why showing instead of telling is better because all of this is boring and not really subtle. Plus, honestly, we could have figured it out on our own. We don't need Edward/Meyer telling us what happened. It would have been smarter for Meyer to just let us fill in the blanks ourselves.
Another thing that bugs me is this:
"By the next morning I was in Alaska."
From Twilight, page 271
What the hell? What happened to Canada? You know, that whole COUNTRY that is in between Alaska and Washington State? You have to have visa's to get past the borders there, don't you? So does Edward have one? Plus, I don't care how fast you drive, there is no possible why he could have gotten to Alaska in one freaking night. A day, maybe. But not a whole night. More stupidity from Meyer.
More recap with Edward and they finally get to confessing what pretty much everyone knew. I personally am wondering why this is occuring in the middle of the book. Good romances usually take longer then this. But I keep forgetting, this isn't a good romance. We also get the second corny, mock-worthy line:
"And so the lion fell in love with the lamb...," he murmured.
From Twilight, page 274
That sound was a million romance readers groaning at the cliche. You know what would have made this series brilliant? If this were actually a parody/satire of vampire romance stories. If that were the case I would be singing Twilight's praises and calling Meyer a comedic genius and worship her. However, she has insisted this is true love/literary greatness/Edward and Bella are soul mates etc. So it was obviously not meant to be a parody/satire which makes me shake my head sadly and cringe that this is being called literature.
More cringe-worthy romance between Bella and Edward occurs and I really, really want this chapter to end so I can go watch Buffy. We get the infamous flight through the trees scene and then the two finally kiss and instead of swooning like I'm supposed too when reading a romance I find myself rolling my eyes at all the metaphores to statuary that Meyer uses to describe Edward. Gag-worthy chapter FINALLY ends and I breath a sigh of relief.
WORDS A TEENAGER WOULD NEVER SAY/DON'T BELONG/USED WRONG: scintillating, incandescent, circuitous
BOOKS THAT ARE BETTER: All the Buffy the Vampire Slayer books/novelizations
WHY IT'S BETTER: Whedon's vampires are to me, the ones that make the most sense and the best (next to Dracula). They do not sparkle, are evil, and actually suck blood. Even the ones that are the good guys and romantic interest (Angel and Spike) kick ass more then Edward (and are ten times more interesting then emo boy) and Buffy is a ten times more kick ass heroine then Bella. Though I do admit her name irks me. She is still awesome though. So, even though it's technically a tv show and I don't know when the original novels could have possibly taken place (there must have been a lot more time in season three then I thought) it still counts because these are books and the characters are still awesome. Even Xander, who is not a vamp, is more interesting and boyfriend worthy then Edward.
This series certainly is creating a buzz, with devoted fans and frustrated debunkers. If you are aching for something a little different, try out my new release, Angela 1: Starting Over. Maybe the relationships are more coherent, though no less dangerous. To know more of what it's about, please click on my name and follow the link to my website and also visit my blog at www.davidabedford.aegauthorblogs.com
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