NOTES/THOUGHTS/REACTIONS:
This chapter starts with Edward driving. Bella, of course, marvels at how awesome his driving is and how effortlessly he drives with one hand. Yeah, I know plenty of guys who can drive with one hand, starting with my dad and going to a taxi driver I've seen do it. This is a stupid observation and once more, doesn't add anything to the books except as a way for Meyer to drill into our heads how super-freaking special Edward is.
Edward turns on the radio and we get this from our supposed music lover:
"Music in the fifties was good. Much better than the sixties, or the
seventies, ugh!" He shuddered. "The eighties were bearable."
From Twilight, pages 286/287
This is very clearly Meyer's own opinion, not Edwards. Were Edward an actual music lover, he would know that you cannot sum up a decade of music. There are good bands/bad bands and good songs/bad songs in each of them. Also, excuse me but the sixties produced some of the best damn music in this century. Oh yeah, and I do believe that is when a little thing called ROCK and ROLL was started? Well, mid-fifties or so but sixties is when rock and roll started...rolling. Excuse the pun. Also, hello, MOTOWN. As for the seventies, diana ross and Michael Jackson, hello? Plus some of the best rock bands came out of the seventies like Pink Floyd and Rolling Stones. As for the eighties: Madonna, Bowie, U2, Bangles, need I go on? That was more then just "bearable". Edward is quite clearly NOT a music lover if he says that these three decades were horrible. Plus, what about the nineties? Or I don't know, those few decades he lived before the fifties? Twenties, thirties, and fourties had some pretty awesome music too. Also, how can Bella say she never heard the song before but know it came from the fifties? That makes no sense. This is an epic fail on Meyer's part to try and pass Edward off as a music lover. Had she done research and talked to actual music lovers, this wouldn't have happened.
I asked, tentative, not wanting to upset his buoyant humor.
From Twilight, page 287
Buoyant is an adjective of buoyancy. An adjective is a word used to describe a noun or limit its meaning. A noun is a word that names a person place or thing. So technically, Meyer is using the right kind of word here. But look at the definition of buoyancy: 1) the ability to float, 2) the upward force exerted by a fluid on a body in it, 3) resilance in recovering from setbacks, and 4) cheerfulness. So basically Bella is saying she doesn't want to upset his cheerful humor. Well why the hell doesn't Meyer just say that? Come on. I'm all for creative word use, but there's a point where you go overboard and Meyer has crossed that point a long time ago. Also, saying cheerful humor is a bit redundant, isn't it?
Finally we start to learn a little abut Edward's age. He was born in Chicago apparently (midwest boy, go fig) and apparently was dying of the Spanish influenza when Carlisle found him. Okay, I admit, I know nothing about the Spanish influenza. So I looked up info about it. Here is one page I found on it:
http://virus.stanford.edu/uda/
I'm assuming Meyer had to look this up as well so it is nice to see she did SOME research though I bet Edward wouldn't have been in a hospital, but in one of the quarantine kind of places because of the disease but I'll let it go. Of course, Meyer passes on explaining the yucky details of vampire transformation. We learn more about the Cullen family and I admit, I kind of find the Cullen "family" dynamic somewhat interesting. Unfortunately, all the Cullens are basically kept in the background like every other potentially interesting character in this book.
We learn that Alice can see the future (though only when it's helpful to the author, you'll see what I'm talking about later. More explanations and you know what? It would be far more interesting for us to find this out on our own. I mean we don't have to know everything about the vampire world right away. If Meyer were a smarter author she would subtly let us see how the vamps operate through Bella's eyes. We would learn things as she did. But no, she gets it all out there at once, thus killing any possible curiousity I may have had about the Cullens and other vampires.
We get more stupid small talk with Bella and Edward later (I cannot believe she actually had to ask why vamps prefer the North. Like Edward said, was she BLIND earlier?) and we are now back at Bella's place. Bella is more stunned to learn Edward spied on her before and I can't believe she didn't figure this out earlier and I am disgusted that she is flattered instead of freaked out like she SHOULD be. But no, instead of being freaked by the blatant stalking, she's more concerned with what Edward overheard that might embarrass her.
Bella's father comes home, causing her to push Edward out the door. They have awkward small talk. He once again notes lack of boyfriend for Bella and I'm sorry, but since when was there a rule that in order to have a social life, a girl had to have a boyfriend? Because that is seriously what seems to be implied in this whole conversation. Now all of a sudden, Bella is worried about Charlie being suspicious of her, which I don't get but whatever.
Pointlessness as Edward and Bella meet up in her room. I must say, I'm getting mildly irritated at how whenever one of the two has a moment of weakness/needs a moment they joke about being human. There is nothing wrong with being human. I'm beginning to wonder if Meyer is ashamed of her own species. Not that I blame her, we humans can be complete morons sometimes and do terrible things, but still...as someone who is human I'm starting to get offended.
More pointlesss conversation happens where Bella and Edward talk about, what else, themselves. We get MORE recap of the story from Edward's point of view. God, I thought that was over. Then they start to argue over, of all things, who should be more jealous. Seriously! Then we get this idiotic thing from Bella:
"But honestly," I teased, "for that to bother you, after I have to hear
that Rosalie-Roselie, the incarnation of pure beauty, Roselie-was meant for you.
Emmett or no Emmett, how can I compete with that?"
From Twilight, page 304
First, there are several edits that need to take place but I won't bother going over them all (I will say though, that repeating Roselie's name three times was pointless). Second, Bella I believe Edward said they were nothing more then siblings? For crying out loud he grimaced at the thought of them being together you moron, so clearly this is not something you have to worry about. I won't even go into how Bella whines that Edward had it so much worse then she did, it wasn't fair.
More yak worthy dialogue after Charlie checks in on Bella. Then Bella asks this moronic question:
"I still don't understand how you can work so hard to resist what
you...are. Please, don't misunderstand, of course I'm glad that you do. I just
don't see why you would bother in the first place."
From Twilight, page 306/307
Bella, what part of VAMPIRE did you not get? If Edward doesn't resist, HE WILL KILL PEOPLE. He will have to live with the memory of killing those people. God, this girl is not naive, she is IGNORANT and STUPID and a million other things I won't get into. Those are bad qualities in a girlfriend, Edward. Dump her now.
But instead of smacking her upside the head like I would have done, he patiently explains it to her and this of course, makes her worship him even more. Of course, it turns out that all the Cullens have their own gifts (they are all special Mary-Sues/Gary-Stus) and there is more pointless talk between the most boring couple in the world. No, I'm serious, these two are BORING together.
Then Bella brings up marriage. On the day they just kissed and haven't even had a real date yet. In the normal world this would send red flags to the guy and he would know this girl has problems and not see her again. Edward however, just says it's not possible because he is too dangerous (again, how many times has he said this?). More gag worthy dialogue and Bella falls asleep. I'm sorry, what is the point of this chapter? Oh yeah, NOTHING. This whole thing could have been cut out and it wouldn't have been missed.
WORDS A TEENAGER WOULD NEVER SAY/WORDS USED WRONGLY/DO NOT BELONG:
buoyant, ravenous,
BETTER BOOK: Ransom My Heart by Meg Cabot/Mia Thermopolis
WHY IT'S BETTER: One, all the money goes to charity. Two, despite occasional flowery prose and somewhat overused romance plot, it is still more interesting then THIS. The couple is funny and interesting and I'm actually eager to see them get together and they are still entertaining when they are together.
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