Wednesday, April 7, 2010

NEW MOON: Chapter 19-Race

CHAPTER SUMMARY: Bella and Alice talk about stuff we've pretty much already figured out on our own. That's it.

NOTES/THOUGHTS/REACTIONS:
This is yet another chapter titled wrong. Because there is no real race. A better title probably would have been Plans, or Talk, or Plane Flight. Because the title misleads the reader into thinking there's actually something exciting going on in this chapter when all that happens is filler material that isn't even really needed because all the info we either knew from before or could have figured out after, or could have just been tacked on the next chapter. Seriously, there's a reason there was like thirty seconds spared for this chapter in the movie: IT IS NOT NEEDED.
Well, anyway all the stuff from last chapter is lulled by the long plane ride and Alice and Bella talking. I probably will not spend much time on this chapter because it's so pointless.
In the beginning Alice is making a call to Jasper. Then Alice starts explaining stuff to Bella and this whole thing brings me back to one of my issues with Meyer that I know I've said before, but it bears repeating. She does way too much telling and not enough showing. Not only that, but half the telling she does is either a)contridictory to what is shown, or b) pointless to tell because the reader has usually figured out what's going on by then. But Meyer seems to think her readers are slow and that this is actually a complicated plot (it's not) and so she flat out tells her readers what's going on either through one of the characters or Bella herself.
In this case, Alice is the one not to subtly telling the reader what is going on, why all this is so urgent, what Edward is thinking, why they can't do stuff (even though I don't think the reasons are valid but whatever) etc. Because you know, we're so dumb we couldn't have figured it out on our own. Then of course, Meyer (in a not very subtle way again) has Bella ask the questions that the she thinks the reader would come up with and then have Alice explain it to Bella/aka the reader.
Some people may have no problem with this type of writing but for me, it's irritating. Not only does it waste paper but I don't like being treated as if I'm not intelligent enough to figure out a simple plot. I could understand if this were a kids book, but this is a YOUNG ADULT book. Teenagers can think for themselves Meyer and can figure stuff out. Maybe they won't always come to the right conclusion (hence why a lot of them actually think Twilight is amazing) but still, give them some credit please and let them figure this out for themselves.
As if the obvious telling us what is going on wasn't bad enough, we get more recap over what the Volturi are and do. Um...Meyer, you had Edward tell Bella this stuff in the first damn chapter, remember? Now, no we didn't know they enforced the rules, but considering that Edward called them the closest thing to a royal family it was more or less implied that they kept the peace. Seriously Meyer, we're not stupid, I wish you would have more faith in your readers.
For some reason Bella gets angry that the Cullens never told this to her and frankly she is an idiot. The Cullens didn't owe her a damn thing, SHE WAS A STRANGER. This girl has some serious self entitlement issues.
Alice has another vision and she learns that the Volturi refused Edward and he is now going to kill himself by showing that he sparkles in the sun...so many jokes can be madea about this that I don't know where to begin. This guy however has said all I have to say on this matter. Seriously, read his whole blog. It's hilarious and way better then mine.
Then the talk goes to Edward himself and I'm sorry, the fact that Bella still thinks Edward actually meant what he said in the forest after he's freaking killing himself over her suposed death is just DUMB. No girl is THAT STUPID. You cannot tell no girl would think: huh, he's killing himself because he thinks I'm dead, maybe he still has feelings for me? I mean, come on!
Then there's this lovely reaction after Alice mentions the idea of her possibly turning Bella herself:
"Oh, Alice, do it now! I could help you so much-and I wouldn't slow you down. Bite me!"
From New Moon, Chapter 19

Good God, woman, have some self respect (don't even get me started on the jokes that can be had from the bite me sentence). Seriously, this is more evidence to my theory: Bella doesn't actually love Edward, she loves the idea of what Edward is. In other words, she wants to be a vampire. In her mind being a vampire is akin to being a God and that it makes you a perfect being. In order for her to be truly perfect, she needs to be a vampire. Edward is just a bonus in this. A way to get what she wants as well as having a hot boyfriend who will do her bidding. But, that is my theory.
They get off the plane and Alice steals a bright yellow car (wonderful role modeling there, Meyer. Why exactly couldn't they call for a rental? They have them right there in the airport and it's really quick.) Then they head to the high way and get to Volterra.

WORD LIST: transitory
POSSIBLE EDITS: Chapter title again, and the fact that this whole thing could have been edited into the next chapter.
GENERAL ANNOYANCES: Alice and Bella are like always bouncing in their seats during this flight. In the real world they would have a) been asked constantly if they were okay by passengers or flight attendants or b) seriously looked at for suspicious behavior because of the bouncing. Nervous behavior on flights nowadays=terrorist in a post 9/11 world but I'm guessing Meyer didn't realize this when she was writing it.

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