NEW MOON: Chapter 20-Volterra

CHAPTER SUMMARY: a span of two minutes is dragged out to make a whole chapter. I've mentioned that Meyer is long winded, right?

NOTES/THOUGHTS/REACTIONS:
So Alice and Bella arrive in Volterra (I will just spare a moment to say wow Meyer, really original naming you have going on in here-Volterra/Volturi. Yeah...) and it seems as though we are back to the vivid description of things. Great. I missed those...not. Apparently for some reason they aren't being allowed to drive through and I wonder why a) they aren't allowed to drive through in the first place, and b) why it's so urgent for Bella and Alice to drive through in the first place. Considering it's like, what, a block? Maybe two? It doesn't take that long to run down a few blocks.
But apparently it does in Meyer's world. Also to make everything more dramatic, people are all wearing red. A whole big paragraph is wasted on a woman's scarf fluttering in the wind. Give me a break.
Alice bribes the guard with a thousand dollar bill and just...wow. Meyer knows they don't print thousand dollar bills on demand anymore right? A hundred is about as high as it goes. I won't even go into why exactly is Alice carrying around a wad of thousand dollar bills in the first place because it would hurt my brain to try and come up with a logical reason for it. Because frankly, there is no logical reason. It's just dumb. This isn't even going into the fact that they are on foreign soil and therefore the guard probably wouldn't take American money because he knows what I do: American money is worth way less then Euros and if he took it and tried to convert it to Euros, he'd probably end up with less then a thousand dollas. Once again, Meyer fails to think, and to do research.
But whatever, Alice and Bella get through the gate and go through the crowd and naturally it takes longer, which I could have told them, and there is vivid description that actually doesn't really tell us much except: there are brown buildings crowding a small narrow road. In which case, she should just say that. But then she wouldn't be Meyer.
It finally occurs to the girls that Bella getting out of the car would be faster (duh) and she goes and starts running. None of the people seem to notice or think she's stealing something (which in Italy, would probably be a lot of people's first thought). They don't even wonder why she's running across the freaking water fountain! In real life, there would have been guards and they would have arrested her butt.
They also don't seem to notice the crazy running lady screaming someone's name. I'm sorry, but NO CROWD IS THAT LOUD. When you hear someone screaming a name over and over, you notice. There's random description of a family for some reason (if Bella is so focused on Edward, why is she noticing such miniscule details like this? Seriously) and then Bella sees Edward. Insert vivid description here and of course the first thing she notices is how perfect and lovely and gorgeous he is and decides then and there that he is the one for her, even if he doesn't feel the same. Proving once again, THERE HAS BEEN ZERO CHARACTER GROWTH. Because this has pretty much been her thought throughout the first one, and throughout this book except for maybe like a minute where she considered Jacob. Which brings me to wonder: what the was the whole damn point of writing a sequel if you're not going to have any character growth whatsoever?
But anyway, Bella naturally gets Edward to move back into the building. He (in a so not cheesy way ;heavy sarcasm here;) quotes Romeo and Juliet (once again Meyer, WRONG ANALOGY because once again THIS IS NOT LIKE THAT AT ALL, UGH) and thinks he's gone to hell. Wow. That's flattering. You just save a guy, he thinks he's died because you're there but instead of being in heaven he thinks he's in hell. I'd be slightly insulted by this, but apparently I'm dumb and don't recognize romantic overtures when I hear it (at least according to yon Twihards when I mention this).
The cheesy reunion is cut short by the arrival of two vampires. Felix and Demitri and in case we get the idea that they actually become important, quick rapid description is given for them. They say it's time to meet Aro and Edward tries to get Bella out of it but fails. Alice somehow gets there along with a newcomer named Jane and they all go off to meet the Volturri.
Long pointless description of the group walking to the location which involves dropping Bella down a drain hole (sadly Alice catches her) and much of Bella acting like a coward in the sewers. Ends with them coming to an entrance. Thrilling stuff no?

WORD LIST: infinitesimally (yes, this is hypothetcally a word...I think), undulated
POSSIBLE EDITS: All the description bits need to be cut short a lot.
GENERAL ANNOYANCES: His voice was like honey and velvet.-Cause you know, honey and velvet go great together!
But the face was too pretty for a boy.-Um...really? Cause I've seen a lot of pretty boys in my day. That kid who plays Justin on Ugly Betty for one (I'm so sad that show is ending). Justin Bieber, Joe Jonas, etc. I'm just saying, this statement is stupid.
The wide-eyed, full-lipped face would make a Botticelli angel look like a gargoyle.-For all the wordy description Meyer gives...this tells us nothing except that she's beautiful. Which does not narrow it down.